0 Go MAD

Have you gone MAD (make a difference) today?

Anyhow, Hamm bought a crate of lovely baby alphonso mangoes back from India and Praise the Lord!, for they were surely God's nectar. Despite its greenish tinge on the outside, it boasted a deep orange flesh that could rival a setting sun. It was dribble-down-your-mouth-juicy, bursting with summery notes of honey, just purely fantastic! After an awesome Monday lunch (I love mondays!) of wholewheat red wine couscous + omelette topped with red peppers, spinach, garlic & avocado, an enjoyed an equally awesome fruitful bowl of fat strawberries, blackberries, cubed alphonsos, fresh coconut meat, all swimming in a pool of refreshing coconut water. Lovely. And to think it's 8 more days to FREEDOM.

0 The root of unhappiness

There's always this niggling sense of dissatisfaction that plagues my soul. Unhappiness, yearning, searching... for something I can't quite fathom. And with graduation just round the corner, the feeling has become worse lately. I know the answer lies with the Lord, and prayer. But sometimes the surroundings are so dark you don't know how, when to start.

Incidentally, some of the most beautiful people I've come across in my life are the most devout Christians, like Phoebes, Charlene. I really admire their strength and love they exude.

The more I stare into my notes, the more my mind strays away from the written; yet as I start to dwell on my future, I feel guilty about not studying. I hate this. Why must there be such an awful long lull period between the end of school term and the actual exams?

The prospects of pursuing further studies borders on being schizophrenic. There are times when I feel so empowered and sure that I am and want to get an MD and specialize in neuroscience or oncology. Then there are moments where I question these motivations and tell myself I'm crazy to go and spend another 8 years of my life studying and confining myself to the lab - again. As if the last 10 months was not enough. How I just wish I would not need to work another day of my life (and to think I have not even started official work yet!) Then I still have my secret dream of setting up an oatmeal cafe [EarlyMorningOats], specializing in hot steaming steel cut oats with the most extravagant and widest selection of toppings you could ever imagine. There would also be oatmeal pancakes, oatmeal waffles and savoury oats to choose from. And a retail section of nut butters and grains and beans sold in bulk.

Some goals and plans post-exams:

Weight gain plan [with strength training incorporated]

Revive my blog

Travel [?] > need companions

Get a job

P.S. I just found out that an oatmeal bar actually exists in Greenwich Village, NY. Well, at least the idea is untapped on in Sg so there's no competitors - as yet!. Hmmm... there could even be an adjoining B&B beside my cafe... "Oatel" maybe?

0 The gift of sleep and rest

Some things are just too coincidental to happen by chance; I believe it was a sign from God. Today's Bible verse is Psalm 127:2

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to those he loves.

In light of my viral feverish sickness, I believe God wants me to take a break and rest; the few days before that I had been returning to the lab for consecutive days on end. Despite my sickness I still went back to the lab the past few days and was really non-productive, like slow jerky movements which is not good because you need steady hands. Maybe because I was defiant, I still have not recovered (fever has subsided but cough is persistent). Another reason is perhaps although I'm taking the cough medicine (pi pa gao), I'm still taking my nuts and nut butters and other cough-inducing foods that I would not give up. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed this morning's stick-to-your-ribs bowl of oatmeal: whipped banana blueberry Scottish oats (BRM) cooked in water/goat's milk, protein powder, cinnamon, vanilla extract, topped with crushed nuts, raisins, chocolate AB (Justin's) and tahini. Except that it was interrupted with bouts of coughing fits in between.

I should learn from my cat - snooze all day!

0 All the good eats in a [klutz] day

Breakfast - banana cinnamon oat-muffin-bagel porridge topped with Justin's chocolate almond butter, a chunk of Theo & Philo green mango and sea salt dark chocolate and cocoa mole hot chocolate sauce made with Delamere's skimmed goat's milk, and a scattering of pomegranate seeds. Lunch - Italian salad leaves, roasted vine-ripened cherry tomatoes and uber-ripe mushy avocado slices, purple potatoes & carrots roasted in avocado oil, seasoned with black pepper, cumin, paprika and dill, two whites-one-yolk creamy scrambled eggs, crumbled goats cheese, and half an Ambrosia apple afterwards. Dinner - lup cheong, shitake shroom and scallion soy sauce fried rice, sea bass, slow cooker chicken wolfberry herbal soup with si shen powder, papaya slices.

On the other hand, something was wrong with me today. 1. Spilled gooey egg whites all over the kitchen counter when I cracked the egg (NOT fun cleaning up). 2. Splashed egg mixture onto stove top when stirring the eggs in the non-stick pan. 3. Prepared my secondary antibody mixture wrongly three times before I got it correct. 4. This included fixing the dissected brains in the secondary antibody mix instead of fixing buffer! 5. Almost incubated the in situ brain samples with a secondary antibody mix with mouse Cy3 (red is Tyramide Cy3!) 6. spilled rice all over the floor when scooping rice for dinner.

I believe He was trying to impart a message about having quiet quality time today. The topic in Our Daily Bread today was "Time Out," a reminder to take time out and pray in the midst of hard work. Incidentally Luke 10 (I'm still through Luke 10) also talks about Jesus' teaching on Prayer.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

0 Good samaritan

... so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

This morning's Bible reading was the parable of the good Samaritan from Luke 10. It should be a familiar story: a man was robbed and left to despair on the streets. People passed by but ignored him; only a good Samaritan displayed care, kindness and mercy and helped him.

In an uncanny manner, many situations today offered the opportunity to be a good Samaritan. Unfortunately, it was always in hindsight that I realize it. In TTSH on my way to school, there was an elderly man sitting pitifully outside the pharmacy, right smack at the entrance. The morning crowd noticed him, looked on, ignored him and rushed on. It was almost a replica scene straight out of the Bible. Unfortunately I was also one of the passers-by who did nothing. But through this I believe it was almost a sign from Him??

Later on in Gleneagles food court where Hamm & I were having lunch after my doctor's appointment, a lady left a bunch of keys behind. Another man noticed it and Sam handed it over to the security desk. Luckily we were there long enough to see the lady return for her keys. A simple kind act can help so much; I definitely wouldn't want to lose my keys, much less a bunch of it.

I want to work on getting back my neighborly attitude, to show care and find time for others. It's all too easy to get caught up in the business of everyday work and ignore everything else that doesn't contribute to your productivity But all these toil and slog is meaningless for without care and interaction, a robot could easily replace one.

0 2012>2013

I ushered in the new year... by not ushering it in; I was in deep slumber, knocked out and unconscious. Initially I even contemplated going for watchnight service. But as I crawled into bed at 9 PM (just after dinner and newspaper reading), I knew I was a goner. What an eventful start to the new year, ha.

2012 was a year of turbulence and self-discovery. It started off with re-adapting to the intensity of NUS's curriculum, after spending a relaxing semester at KCL, which may even be considered a semi-holiday. Of course, there was much nostalgia and pining for the days of yore. Politics of Heritage was also one of the most challenging, stressful but rewarding modules I'd taken so far. Of course, the highlight was the trip to Cambodia which really opened my eyes to the less fortunate and atrocities of mankind; my previous travels were largely limited to the first world countries. Starting lab was another turning point. I'd never imagine it could get so intense, or maybe it was the nature of my project. Even before commencing the project, finding the right professor proved a challenge as a faced many rejections.

Spiritually, I think I can say I've grown a teeny weeny bit. At least I try to devote the best part of the day (mornings) to reading the Bible and learning God's word. I hope to continue this practice in 2013, as well as to do more prayer and read deeper into the Word, and not just read for reading's sake. I would love to join a small group in church, but I'm so afraid of commitments, especially when my schedule is so unpredictable. I know this is an unexcusable excuse, for nothing should override God as priority. But still...

It has also been a lot of fun on the gastronomy side. Although I still like dining out, I now much prefer home-cooked food and experimenting with ingredients. This (oops, I mean last) year many new creations were replicated or developed, from breads from scratch to curries and protein powders. The tradition of oatmeal continues unabated, but with more flourishes and toppings. I also overcame my fear of coconut in 2012; now I enjoy coconut butter in appreciable amounts, use coconut meat without second thought in smoothies and drink coconut juice with gusto. The top few dining highlights in 2012 were (in no particular order): Pollen at GBTB, Waterfall Cafe at Shangri La, Wah Lok at Carlton Hotel, Wild Honey at Scotts and the sweet potato curry from Palm Sugar (?) restaurant in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Actually I loved all the food in Cambodia. Unfortunately, I lost even more weight, and am at my lowest physical point ever, if that is even possible. :(

In 2013, I hope to gain weight (drink supplements consistently and treat it like it's medicine); grow stronger spiritually and have a deeper relationship with God, and hopefully discover God's purpose for my life; learn to live and let loose; learn to treasure friendship, family ties, and not be so insular.

Today the new year gave an impetus to try out a new breakfast: buckwheat groats porridge. Previously I had only tried buckwheat flakes before which has a very earthy taste and definitely would benefit from some (natural) sugars. As a fail-safe strategy, I did a cream-of-banana-cinnamon-vanilla with buckwheat groats, cooked in water/soy in 1:2 ratio. The groats were much less absorbent than oatmeal, and did not get creamy at all. Although according to instructions, the groats would be cooked within 10 minutes, I doubled the cooking time as I did not want to be biting into stones for breakfast. It was topped with the usual tahini, protein nut mix and a special (last) chocolate-covered raisin. The result? Either the groats were tasteless or the banana-cinnamon-vanilla spice completely overwhelmed the expected earthy taste of buckwheat. I may reduce the cooking time to 10-15 minutes for some chew; this time it was quite soft although the groats still retained their individual shape. Overall it was not a bad experience. I am also looking forward to experimenting it in salads and savoury dishes like pesto buckwheat.

For lunch I also prepared an artichoke - a first experience. Another post will be dedicated to this!

Seeing prof for ISM arrangement tmr morning :( My last ISM. A tinge of regret that I procrastinated last sem and shifted it to this sem.

Bible verse to tide through the year (or at least the month or week)- Joshua 1:6-9

6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them.

7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go.

8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

0 God is with us

Have yourself a very Merry Christmas. Amidst the bubbly and champagne, lets keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts; the message of love. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16. Emmanuel, God is with us.

Slogged out in school the past few days, just so I can have a peaceful Christmas day (break from lab!) Looking forward to church service, carols, Les Miserables and followed by dinner with the extended family tomorrow!

0 Priorities refresher

What do you live for? What makes you tick? What rocks your boat?

Life is short; we all have some passion that gives our lives purpose, so as to make the best out of our temporary existence on earth. Sometimes we are guilty of chasing after material goods, wealth, experiences, certificates, medals, epicurean delights and other worldly pleasures. Personally I need to remind myself to eat to live and not vice versa. As the Bible reminds us,

Serving two masters
No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Matthew 6:24

Putting God first
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33; Luke 12:31

The antidote to greed and coveteousness, as the Pastor delivered in his message today, is to live a simple lifestyle. Eat simply, dress modestly (as in having a timeless wardrobe and not chasing after the latest fashion trends), and donate the extra time and money for good causes.

A somewhat simple breakfast for a simple lifestyle this morning: D24 cashew coconut steelies, which was in every way a tropical paradise. In case you're interested, it's steel cut oatmeal simmered for 25 min in water/soymilk (3.5:1 ratio), then D24 durian puree and Sunwarrior protein powder stirred in two minutes before serving. Finally, cashew coconut butter was drizzled on top, the heat causing it to melt instantly into milky nutty puddles.

I shall take this chance to review Sunwarrior protein powder which I had purchased online from iHerb. It has a mild, slightly malty taste which I really like. In fact it's the best tasting protein powder I ever had! Many plus points for taste. However, it doesn't dissolve as easily as soy/whey/egg protein powder. It will eventually after much vigorous stirring, and yield a rich creamy texture. No griity bits like soy protein! If you're seeking fluffiness in your protein powders, stick to egg white; Sunwarrior brown rice protein merely thickens but does not give much volume. I've been enjoying Sunwarrior daily in my oatmeals. Overall this is really one of the best protein powders and it's name lives up to the many raving reviews.

4 To will a will

source

How do I know God's will? Loaded question, no concrete answers. In search of at least some direction, I attended a talk on this topic at church yesterday. Life is, more often than not, punctuated by a few major crossroads: choosing a college, your career, midlife crisis, and so on. Growing up in a Christian family in Singapore, life has been good and highly structured so far: kindergarten > primary school > secondary school > college > university; the well-trodden, default path of a Singapore kid. But now, after uni, uh... welll? It's like being on auto-pilot all these years and now suddenly you have to manually navigate the direction of your vehicle. In short, I'm quite unsure of my next step after uni, albeit there's still another year to go.

Anyhow, it was my first time going for a specially organized talk on my own initiative. The 40-odd audience were mostly in late 20s and up, so I felt quite young there. The speaker wasn't particularly the 'wow' type, but nevertheless offered some guidance. His main point being, Stop looking for the will of God, and focus on developing a relationship instead. How? As always, through formative reading of the Bible, prayer and counsel.

The thing is, I've said and tried more than a dozen times to read the Bible regularly but it never lasts more than a few days. I mean, the Bible isn't the most exciting book ever. Then another question is where do you start? Do you just randomly pick a chapter a day, or read it consecutively? Do Bible dipping? And so I really admire those who have such great passion for God and great knowledge of his Word. But admiration isn't enough; I want to be part of it. Maybe I should stop my aimless surfing of the net and route my attention to reading the Bible together with some self-help books.

On a side note, I had a quick dinner at Baja Fresh at Rendezvous Hotel before the session. It's a Tex-Mex version of Subway (incidentally, I wouldn't expect a fast food outlet at an uppity class hotel). I placed an order for Original Taco (corn) with Grilled Chicken ($5.95). Service was polite and the food was delivered promptly.

I didn't expect a taco to be like that; I'd imagine a taco shell, like the ones seen on taco boxes in the supermarket. Nevertheless, it was fairly tasty, with lots of kick from onions and cilantro. If you're sensitive to onions, this is not for you. The chicken had a nice smokey edge to it, but it was overly salty. There was a free serving of tortilla chips (unpictured) and free-flow of self-service dips, over a range of spiciness. My favorite was the pico de gallo salsa with fresh tomatoes (the middle of the three dips above), perhaps because it helped to tone down the saltiness of the chicken.

4 Projects in the pipeline

1. Learn XHTML . For years I've been blindly editing my HTML code in a trial-an-error fashion. I think it's about time I know exactly what I'm doing. To this end, I borrowed a self-help book at the library today. Many baby-steps will sum up towards a quantum leap.

2. Eventually register for my own domain and have my own website. After thinking high and low over names, I'll likely revert back to Early Morning Oats. My new website will be a comprehensive compendium towards whole living, encompassing food, cooking, mind and some sciencey stuff.

3. Bake a spelt loaf from scratch. I really mean from scratch, right from the starter culture.

4. Grow spiritually. I've said this one too many times but this time I will really make the effort.

I think three projects is sufficient for the time being. Better not to pile to many things on a plate.

4 Sign me up

I persuaded Mum to sign up for Biblethon, a church effort to handwrite the whole Bible. Yep you heard that right. It's a three-prong exercise to celebrate our church (Wesley) upgrading project, to emphasise spiritual building (and not just building of physical structures), and to reinforce this year's theme of 'Speak Good Bible'. We each get 15 minutes to write a number of verses, and the final handwritten Bible will be displayed at the church's archives. I think it's quite an innovative idea to bring people together. I also signed up for a talk called 'How Do I Know God's Will?' Everybody faces some identity crisis now and then, and since it's only two hours and at a reasonable price, I thought it wouldn't hurt to go. It will be my first time attending a church talk though.

Did some atas grocery shopping which put me in a very good mood, albeit significantly poorer. ThreeSixty at Ion has spruced up its line of products; it's range is now even more exclusive - and expensive. Extra virgin olive oils, authentic balsamic vinegars (from the region of Modena or Emilia Reggio and aged at least 12 years), Japanese mini-watermelons at 38 bucks and a mango at freakish 128 bucks! The cheapo me bought varlhona guanaja (70% dark chocolate) just because it was going 2 for the price of 1. I also bought a jar of dried porcini mushrooms which would come in very handy for risottos and soups, and a mini jar of fig jam by Hediard. At realfoodgrocer (Killiney Road), I finally found coconut cashew cream. Coconut oil is now sold at many places including specialty supermarts, but coconut butter is still a tough find. I have yet to find pure coconut butter (without mixing with other nuts).

And last but not least, a very stimulating breakfast that I had this morning, both in terms of color and taste. All my favorite ingredients in a bowl!

Should I or should I not volunteer for SIWW?

0 Today at church - Psalm 23

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever

3 First Sunday

Today I visited Holy Trinity Brompton Church with Charlene and her friend, Lionel. It's an Anglican church, and thus supposedly very traditional with a strict order of service. However, it turned out to be very informal, almost like Wesley's Prayer & Praise. There were also a good international mix there, with Koreans, Chinese and Asians. Maybe next week we'll go Wesley?

After church, I finally made my trip down to Whole Foods Market at High Street Kensington. I think after seeing all the artisanal breads, cheeses and nuts (they even have a make-your-own-muesli-mix counter!) I cannot shop at Tesco anymore. Boo. Anyway, I ground my own salted peanut butter and it was so fun! We also dined at their in-store marketplace. I had the kid's portion of Mezze platter. For 3.49 pounds, you get to choose 3 dishes. I chose the couscous, moussaka and grilled vegetables (eggplant, red bell peppers & caramelized onions). There was also a side stack of pita bread. It was so filling, even for a kid's meal!

Then it was down to Kensington Gardens. We had a nice stroll. The animals there seem larger than life: squirrels with impossibly bushy tails, obese pigeons that waddle about, ducks that actually fly as a herd, and graceful swans. We passed the glided Albert Memorial and Royal Albert Hall on our way out.

Tomorrow is enrollment day!

Currently I'm surviving on pasta with store-bought tomato & basil sauce and salmon from tesco. Need to start making more impressive meals soon.