There's always this niggling sense of dissatisfaction that plagues my soul. Unhappiness, yearning, searching... for something I can't quite fathom. And with graduation just round the corner, the feeling has become worse lately. I know the answer lies with the Lord, and prayer. But sometimes the surroundings are so dark you don't know how, when to start.
Incidentally, some of the most beautiful people I've come across in my life are the most devout Christians, like Phoebes, Charlene. I really admire their strength and love they exude.
The more I stare into my notes, the more my mind strays away from the written; yet as I start to dwell on my future, I feel guilty about not studying. I hate this. Why must there be such an awful long lull period between the end of school term and the actual exams?
The prospects of pursuing further studies borders on being schizophrenic. There are times when I feel so empowered and sure that I am and want to get an MD and specialize in neuroscience or oncology. Then there are moments where I question these motivations and tell myself I'm crazy to go and spend another 8 years of my life studying and confining myself to the lab - again. As if the last 10 months was not enough. How I just wish I would not need to work another day of my life (and to think I have not even started official work yet!) Then I still have my secret dream of setting up an oatmeal cafe [EarlyMorningOats], specializing in hot steaming steel cut oats with the most extravagant and widest selection of toppings you could ever imagine. There would also be oatmeal pancakes, oatmeal waffles and savoury oats to choose from. And a retail section of nut butters and grains and beans sold in bulk.
Some goals and plans post-exams:
P.S. I just found out that an oatmeal bar actually exists in Greenwich Village, NY. Well, at least the idea is untapped on in Sg so there's no competitors - as yet!. Hmmm... there could even be an adjoining B&B beside my cafe... "Oatel" maybe?
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